Likely the most common emotion I observe in the bowls of the women I work with is anger. It’s probably pretty obvious why this might be. Our culture isn’t big on angry women. We are taught from a young age to, “be seen and not heard”, “keep your feelings to yourself”, and my personal favorite said to me, “that’s not lady like”. Grrrrr. Makes me angry just thinking about it!
While it’s socially acceptable for women to cry, it’s not socially acceptable for women to shout, throw things, or kick something. So, where does all that anger go then? For a lot of us, it gets repressed and stuffed into the pelvic bowl.
When I feel anger in the bowl of a woman on my table, it usually feels like a hard knot. Because we are in a meditative place during the session, we can usually feel into the emotion behind the knot and ask for Divine Guidance about what is being held there. We determine it’s anger and we get to the source of it. That’s the easy part.
Moving the anger is often the hard part. I try to encourage women right here on the table to express the anger, to shout out loud at the person behind it (and sometimes that’s even the woman herself), to get mean and say the real thing she’s feeling. Most women can’t do it.
I get it and there’s never any judgement from me.
Then, we have to get creative. Sometimes, the woman can see a shape or form of the anger. For example, maybe she sees it as a giant rock wall. This wall can then be visualized as being blown up, knocked down, or evaporated. We always move it out eventually, but what if we never let it get there in the first place?
In our world of positive thinking, it can be difficult to even admit we’re feeling angry. This is where we get stuck. It’s OKAY to feel whatever you are feeling. Wouldn’t it feel so much better to just get angry and move it out right away?
But, how do we do that?
Here’s a list of suggestions to move anger:
• Go somewhere private and scream and yell.
• Write a letter to the person behind the anger and then burn or bury it (it’s really nice to plant a new plant over the top of anger so you can be reminded that the energy was transmuted to something more beautiful).
• Smash something (one of my favorite writers, Tosha Silver suggests buying a bunch of old plates and then breaking them somewhere safe).
• Ecstatic dancing.
• Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)/Tapping
• Pop balloons or bubble wrap.
• Talk it out with a trusted friend speaking the truth about it.
On Tuesday, I’ll go live in The Sacred Terrain Facebook Group and demonstrate one of my favorite tools for moving anger out of your body. I’ll look pretty ridiculous on this one, so be sure to keep an eye out and join us in the group if you’re not already a member.
The point is, we don’t have to stuff our feelings. We can move them in the moment or shortly after to avoid any long-term effects. And, if we do have anger in the bowl, we can move it out on our own or with the help of a pelvic bowl healer like myself. Sessions are available both in-person at my Portland office and online.
Take a look inside your bowl and be honest with yourself about whether you might be holding some old anger inside. See what you can do to move it, and if you can’t, ask for help.
Next week, we’ll be talking about shame in the bowl, another very common emotion we stuff inside. Stay tuned and please share this post widely.